This one places you on two axes—anxiety and avoidance—instead of handing you a single label. Below are all 12 questions and their options.
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Question 1 When my partner hasn't replied for a few hours, the first thought in my head is…
- AThey're probably busy, we'll talk later.
- BDo they even care about me anymore?
- CNice, some quiet time for both of us.
- DI'm scared of being ignored yet want to ignore them too.
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Question 2 When I say “I miss you”, I hope they…
- ANaturally say they miss me too.
- BSay it often, many times, to reassure me.
- CDon't need to say it—they just know.
- DI want to hear it but fear being too clingy.
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Question 3 After a fight, if they want space, I…
- ARespect it and talk later.
- BPanic—this must mean breaking up.
- CActually want to be alone too.
- DSay okay but feel awful inside.
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Question 4 In relationships I tend to…
- ASay what I feel directly.
- BRepeatedly check if they love me.
- CProcess emotions on my own.
- DSwing between leaning in and pulling away.
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Question 5 When my partner gets close to an opposite-sex friend, I…
- ATrust the boundaries, not worried.
- BGet jealous and overthink it.
- CDon't mind, we each have our friends.
- DMind it but can't say so.
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Question 6 Why do I often check their status?
- ANothing special, just sometimes.
- BI get anxious if I don't confirm.
- CI rarely check on my own.
- DWant to check but fear seeming distrustful.
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Question 7 When hugged or held hands, I…
- AFeel relaxed and natural.
- BNeed it a lot—more is safer.
- CFeel slightly uncomfortable.
- DLike it yet want to pull back.
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Question 8 Which line sounds more like you?
- ALove makes me feel safe.
- BThe one who loves me shouldn't make me guess.
- CDon't get too close, it suffocates me.
- DThe closer we get, the more I fear getting hurt.
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Question 9 When they miss a small promised thing, I…
- AMention it, then move on.
- BKeep wondering if they stopped loving me.
- CDon't bother, I'll do it myself.
- DGet upset but stay silent.
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Question 10 My ideal relationship distance is…
- AClose but with personal space.
- BPrefer to be together all the time.
- CEach busy, meet when needed.
- DWant closeness yet fear it's too much.
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Question 11 My way of showing love leans toward…
- AHonest talk plus action.
- BConstant reassurance and clinging.
- CDistance but quiet care.
- DHot and cold.
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Question 12 When I feel vulnerable, I…
- AAm willing to say so.
- BFear they'll find me annoying.
- CNever let anyone see it.
- DWant support yet dare not ask.
The two axes are independent: you can badly fear being left and badly fear being engulfed at the same time. That is not a contradiction; it is two separate dimensions.